Parenting: Why do we want children?
THEY MAY EXHAUST US, BUT WE RARELY REGRET HAVING DESIGNED OR ADOPTED THEM. BUT, IN THE BEGINNING, WHAT PROVOKED THE DESIRE FOR A CHILD? THE ANALYSIS OF OUR DEEP MOTIVATIONS BY MARYSE VAILLANT, PSYCHOLOGIST.
When our big 16-year-old booby grabs us by the neck in the street and gives us a big kiss on the cheek saying: “Great, huh, Mom, it's almost Christmas!”, we crack up. Whether they are 8 or 18, it is for them that we make the tree... What do they give us, if not this feeling of unique, absolute, and immeasurable love?
Okay, it's not always funny to complain about them not tidying up their rooms, that they don't work enough, or of setting limits to their incessant demands for drinks, and outings, but they bring us so much. In their early years, it is awakened to life, minute by minute. Then, later, the experience of education, the period of discoveries, and questions about everything. To stay in communication with them, we have to open up to a thousand areas of interest, from surfing to slam! The more they mature, the more they assert themselves, the more they enrich us in humor, intelligence, discussions...
It is our children who raise us, they say. Without knowing it, they improve us and teach us not to take ourselves too seriously, when, as teenagers, their remarks, sometimes scathing, hit home. Finally, we are very proud, over the years, to see them flourish and begin to chart their course. By preventing us from getting old, and getting grumpy, they give us back the life we gave them five, ten, or fifteen years ago.
Child: do you have to have one to leave descendants?
TESTIMONIALS AND THE OPINION OF MARYSE VAILLANT, PSYCHOLOGIST, ON THE MOTIVATIONS THAT PUSH US TO HAVE CHILDREN...
Marc, 49, 3 children aged 10, 13, and 15. “It's something irrational, deep, unreflective, like an animal instinct that goes in the direction of the sustainability of the species.
Sophie, 37, and 3 children aged 4, 11, and 15. “Having children, for me, is a bit like being immortal. To survive me. For a generation or two, their father and I will live on in someone's memory.
The opinion of Maryse Vaillant
“To give one's name, to perpetuate a lineage, to be part of a succession of generations is a powerful necessity, more often expressed by men than by women.
It's the child who makes the family!
TESTIMONIALS AND THE OPINION OF MARYSE VAILLANT, PSYCHOLOGIST, ON THE MOTIVATIONS THAT PUSH US TO HAVE CHILDREN...
Céline, 29, 2 children aged 4 and 1. I was brought up with the idea that we have children. I did like my mother. It is in the feminine nature to give birth to the mother. I loved my companion, the rest was self-evident.
Bruno, 38 years old, and 2 girls aged 10 and 8. I never asked myself the question. If we ask ourselves too much, we risk not doing it! My wife wanted some, and I followed her desire. Afterward, I found it great to be a father!
Hélène, 39 years old, 1 adopted child of 3 years old. “For lack of having met the ideal parent, I adopted a little Vietnamese boy on my own. I have a rich social life, but life as a couple no longer interests me. I wanted a child for myself, for the experience of motherhood, and to give more joy to my life. Working for the happiness of my little Qan, being essential to someone, it's wonderful.
The opinion of Maryse Vaillant
“The reason formulated here, in different forms, is the most common! Children are a family, a "reflex" of the human species. But it is also in human nature to privilege something other than the family. “Having” children is also a social convention. The new forms of families, to which Hélène testifies here, show that it is no longer the couple but the child that makes a family. Raising a child already born testifies to a real desire for a family. Adoption limits the risks for this child of “suffocating” under the influence of an all-powerful mother.
.jpg)
Comments
Post a Comment