12 tips for being a Super Mom.

Of course, a super mom loves her children, takes care of their physical and emotional needs, and spends quality time with them. But what's the least obvious way to become a super mom?

1. BE YOURSELF.

You don't have to give up your passions and interests when you become a mother. You need to take time to do what YOU love. Reading, writing, working out… make it a priority, and find a way to fit it into your routine. Easier said than done, I know, but you should at least try to keep doing what you love. although not as often as before. If you cherish your own needs, you will be happier, and being a mother will become easier.

2. DO NOT BEHAVE LIKE A MARTYR.

Your children did not ask you for anything, and they do not have to pay the price of a mother who has become a martyr. Do you need time just for yourself? Let the kids watch TV for an hour and go read a book. Haven't talked to an adult in ages? Entrust them to dad for the evening and organize a dinner with a friend. Pushing your limits to exhaustion is not good for you or your children.

3. DON'T TRY TO BE PERFECT.

Striving for perfection is a bad idea because life is messy, unpredictable, and full of surprises. Trying to achieve perfection, or having total control over things is simply impossible and shouldn't be your goal. Once you become a mother, life gets messier and crazier, so it's even more important to let go of this quest for perfection. You have to accept that the house is sometimes messy, that the meal is ordered and not prepared, and that the children manage on their own while you recharge the batteries a little.

4. DROP THE GUILT.

Guilt seems to be the common thread in all mothers. A friend once told me that she felt guilty every day. I too often feel guilty for feeling guilty. But I'm working on it. Guilt is useless and a terrible waste of time and energy. Whenever you make a decision, whether it's a big one like staying home or going back to work or a minor one like letting the kids play video games while you take some time for yourself, try not to go back on this decision. You do the best you can. Nobody's perfect, and you're not expected to be a perfect mom who never makes mistakes. As long as you love them and meet their basic needs, your children will be fine. Really.

5. BE PATIENT.

Raising children is hard work. The children are loud, messy, and incredibly demanding. Yes, you will sometimes lose patience. But as often as possible, take a deep breath and try to see them as the helpless little beings that they are. I'm not a patient person by nature, but motherhood has taught me to be more patient than I could even imagine.

6. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN.

Listen to them. We tend to think we know better than our children and don't bother to listen to them. Plus, we're ready-made solution experts, giving instant advice, when all they ask for is a listening ear. A few months ago, my 8- year-old daughter confided in me about the difficulties she was having with friends at school. I immediately gave her a solution, and it became clear that she was disappointed: she didn't want a solution, she just needed to be listened to.

7. BE THEIR MOTHER! NOT THEIR GIRLFRIEND!

Set boundaries. In a way, it was easier for previous generations. The parents were the parents. Children, children. The family pattern was patriarchal. Everyone listened and obeyed the father. Families today are democratic. We negotiate, talk about things and we listen to each other. We make important decisions together. That's great, but kids still need us to be their parents and set clear boundaries. We must listen to them and respect them, but we are not their friends. When I was a teenager, I used to shout at my mother that she was “no longer my girlfriend. » To which my mother answered calmly « You are not my girlfriend. You are my daughter. It had a way of driving me crazy, but she was right. Our job is to be the mother of our children. Not their girlfriend.

8. TEACH THEM SIMPLICITY.

You will be doing them a big, huge favor if you teach them at a young age to distinguish between happiness and the accumulation of material possessions. The younger they are, the more they will listen to you, so start early. My kids are 6 and 8, and I feel like it's a good time to teach them my values before they're teenagers, and their friends influence them. When it's time, my daughters join in and we talk about how we don't need all that stuff. We never go shopping as if it were a fun outing. They know that shopping is sometimes a necessity when we need something. Instead of buying books, we borrow them from the library. We recycle as much as possible and make sure to live in a clean and simple house.

I was pushed to surpass myself as a child, and I can testify that the race for success does not lead to happiness. I want my children to succeed. I want them to develop their potential and be financially secure. But I try not to put too much pressure on them and stay cool about school results and extra-curricular activities.

10. TEACH THEM SELF-ESTEEM.

Self-esteem is the most important gift a parent can give to their child. A child with high self-esteem will know their worth and won't get into or stay in toxic relationships. A person who has good self-esteem is more likely to be happy and to exploit their potential. How to give your children good self-esteem? By valuing them, spending time with them, and listening to them.

11. TEACH THEM TO BE INDEPENDENT.

Another thing I fight for every day. It's very tempting to help your children by actually preventing them from fending for themselves. At every stage of development, your child can do things on their own. If you do them for him, you are not helping him, you are preventing him from moving forward. Let him slowly take his independence and let him do what he can do, and what is appropriate for him. The satisfaction of doing things alone is very important for a child. I recently read in a book by P énélope L each something that struck me: good parents know how to withdraw from the image. Although I deeply love that they need me, I let my children become as self-sufficient and independent as possible.

12. LAUGH AND HAVE FUN!

When you're a mom, it's easy to get so wrapped up in 'mom stuff' that you forget to relax and have fun. But kids are fun. They give you this wonderful opportunity to be a kid again and do things you never even imagined you would do in your adult life, and see the world through their innocent, curious childlike eyes. Haven't paid attention to weird bugs and colorful butterflies in years? You will discover them again, now that you have children.

I think the biggest mistake fathers make is that they get so caught up in their careers that they forget to spend time with their kids. The biggest mistake mothers make is that they get so wrapped up in family life that they forget to follow their passions. I hope my list will help you find the perfect balance between the two.

The Rich Life