The First Lesson Of Parenting - How To Become A Parent.

In This Article We Talk About:

How to Become a parent

In this sheet

Emotions of new parents

What if I don't think I can get out?

When to ask for help?

To remember

In the weeks following the birth of their child, some parents are surprised to feel all kinds of strong emotions. However, these are normal.

Emotions of new parents

New parents have to deal with a lot of changes: new responsibilities, new routines, lack of sleep, baby crying, and even maternal hormonal changes.

It is therefore normal that new parents sometimes feel overwhelmed by events, tired, powerless in the face of their baby's crying, and more irritable from lack of sleep. They can also feel guilty about not succeeding in performing certain daily tasks due to a lack of time or energy. All of this can leave them feeling like they've completely lost control of their lives.

If this is your case, remember that you are not alone in this situation. Almost all new parents experience these emotions. You will now get to know yourself as a parent and organize yourself differently.

As time goes on, you and your baby will also learn to be more comfortable together. This will make it easier for you to know what to expect and how to organize your routine.

What if I don't think I can get out?

You must find ways to be supported after your baby arrives, even if it is not easy. Here are some ideas of what you can do.

Talk it over with your partner. Try taking care of the baby sometimes in turns and sometimes together.

Spend quality time with your baby. Take the time to watch him sleep and wake up, pet him and rock him. The stronger the bond of attachment will be with your baby, the more your parental role will take on its full meaning. This will help you accept your new reality and adjust to it.

Place your baby in the stroller or in the baby carrier, and leave the house. Going for a walk will allow you to breathe fresh air, exercise, and take your mind off things. You can also find out about parent-baby activities offered in your area. They also allow you to meet parents who feel much the same as you.

Ask for help from your family, friends, or neighbors, who can help you with meals, housework, or errands, or take care of your baby. Grandparents will surely be very happy to cuddle your baby. If they offer to wash the dishes or fold a load of laundry, accept without hesitation. This will allow you, for example, to take a shower in peace.

Try to meet new parents who live in your neighborhood by going to parks, the library, the café near you, the community center during parent-child activities, community organizations such as the Maison's de la Family, etc. This will help you build a support group.

Try to set aside time for yourself regularly where you are responsible only for yourself. Then do things that relax you. When you take care of your own needs, then it is easier to take care of your baby.

Spend time alone with your partner.

Eat well and rest whenever you can. Take advantage of your baby's nap to rest and take care of yourself. When the body is well, the mind is always better.

Do things you loved doing before the baby arrived. Even though they are now done in the company of a baby, these activities allow you to maintain your sense of control over your life. For example, take the time to have a good dinner with your partner. Don't hesitate to accept invitations from your friends (eg dinner, brunch). You can also plan short hikes with your baby if you put him in a baby carrier.

Organize your day by setting yourself one or two realistic goals. Don't put too much on your shoulders, which will save you a lot of frustration. Don't worry about household chores.

Find someone to talk to who is a good listener. It is always good to be able to speak freely about our joys and our difficulties without feeling judged. This allows us to feel normal in our experience.

Try to accept and express your negative thoughts and feelings. Keeping a journal is a good way to regulate your emotions, which can be shaken by all the changes you are going through. Your emotions will thus be less intense, less intrusive, and more accepted. Writing down how you feel can also prevent you from losing control of your partner, a loved one, or your baby. Keeping a journal will also make it easier for you to identify your needs and find solutions.

Encourage yourself to think positively: Write down nice or fun things that happen to you in a journal or on a chalkboard in plain sight in the kitchen and read about them during bad times.

Avoid comparing yourself with parents who share their experiences on various social networks such as blogs or Facebook. You should know that it is often only the best that is exposed while the difficulties are more hidden.

Find out if a community organization in your area offers home support services for new parents. They might set you free and allow you to rest.

To lighten the first weeks with baby

Before the birth of your baby, you can cook and freeze meals that you will only have to reheat when the baby is there. You can also settle certain administrative procedures before delivery, such as registering your future payments on the website of your banking institution. This way you will have less to worry about when your baby arrives.

When to ask for help?

If you feel the following emotions, it may be time to contact your CLSC or your doctor:

You feel exhausted.

You are having difficulty coping with your daily activities.

You cry a lot or you cut yourself off from your emotions (eg never crying, but never expressing happiness or contentment).

You have trouble eating and sleeping.

Your relationships with others are difficult.

You become anxious just thinking about what awaits you each day or the idea of not being able to take care of your child.

The sooner you consult, the more you will prevent these problems from harming your whole family.

To remember

After the birth of a child, it is normal to feel overwhelmed by your new responsibilities.

The more you know your baby, the more comfortable you will feel with him, the more a routine will be established, and the easier it will be for you to organize yourself.

New parents need support. Do not hesitate to ask for help from those around you, the CLSC, or your doctor.

The Rich Life